Remember Who You Are.

Yesterday I had one of the worst runs I have ever gone on. Running is important to me because, a lot of times it acts as an antidepressant for me. It keeps my heart light, and my head clear. I look forward to running, even if all I am doing is a few miles at a slllloooowwww pace.  But this run didn’t help me be more cheerful and focused, it just dragged me down. My goal was just two miles. But we didn’t even make it that far. We only did a mile. And I walked, A LOT. We’ve been having beautiful weather here in Colorado, but lately the wind has kicked up. I can handle cold, I can handle heat, but wind just kind of does me in. And when I say we, it means I had my son with me in the jogging stroller, so I was pushing a 45 pound weight on wheels that actually functioned more like a sail.

This past weekend I ran in a St. Patrick’s Day 5K race. It was great. I had my best 5K time ever – which isn’t saying much because I am still really slow, but I was on a high. I did it and I finished well. And then yesterday, I got up, determined to do this, to get in a good long run. It was only 35 degrees, but I’ve run in that before, we’ve run in that before. But it felt even colder with the wind blowing in my face. My son, Asher, kept looking up at me through the plastic peek-a-boo window in the canopy and holding his hands over his face. We quickly turned home which meant an uphill push, and my calves started to burn…bad. By the time we got home I felt like I was back down in my muddy little hole. I wanted to cry.

When I spoke to my husband in the early afternoon, he felt bad. Winters are just hard if you like to run and have to take a toddler with you (and spring forward has Messed. Us. Up.). I may not mind running in sub-freezing temperatures, but I can only bundle Asher up so much before he’s uncomfortable and kicks the blankets off and just ends up being cold again.

And then my wonderful husband texted me these pictures, and this message:

Remember who you are.

We all have bad days. Somehow, we all manage to survive our bad days too. Our bad days don’t define us. I am not defined by how my run went yesterday morning. Sometimes there are things outside of my control that I can’t change. I think God cares more about whether we show up, get on the trail, and finish, than our finish time, pace, or placement. We need to be reminded of who we are, especially on the bad days when we know we can do better, but the wind cuts through and holds us back. 1 John 3:1-2 says:

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

We are children of God! Whether we walk, jog, or sprint the race (the first place finisher could have run the 5K twice in the time it took me to finish). We are children of God who are works in progress, we are not finished yet. We don’t know yet what we will be, or how these challenges will shape us for God’s work. We have to take the bad days with the good, and keep pushing forward because one day, if we are faithful to our task, we shall see Christ. Our faith will be complete and we will know our Savior and God face to face.

It’s probably going to snow on Friday. I won’t get a good opportunity to run again until the weekend, but that doesn’t change my worth or value. I am a child of God. And He is making and forming me into something beautiful for His Kingdom and His purposes. May we always remember that God is the one determining our paths and how we turn out. He is in charge, He is in control over my life. All I can do is remember who I am because of Who He Is. And hope that the wind dies down soon.