God? Are you listening? Where are you? Do you hear me? Do
you hear me crying out to you, begging you for a break, a change, a healing
word? Will you answer me?
I am pretty sure that all Christians go through times of
dryness. Living in a fallen world is not easy, and it is hard to keep it all in
perspective, especially when we worship an unseen God. Several months ago when
I first started studying Lamentations, I was going through a period of
frustration and sadness. I felt that things were falling apart in my life and
that any effort to pursue my dreams and desires was met with great opposition.
Actually, it felt like any effort to even take care of myself and do what I
needed to do to fill my tanks and keep myself refreshed was thwarted by the
needs of others. Life continues whether we are ready for it or not. One step at
a time, even if they are baby steps. Things got a bit better, but then just a
few weeks ago I felt myself slip into a mild state of depression. All I wanted
was to escape. I hated going to bed because it would mean I would just wake up
in the morning feeling tired, but still have a whole day to get through. I had
been praying and sending up requests for healing, for relief, and even for a
good night’s sleep. But I got nothing. No healing, no relief. I was overwhelmed
with my schedule and my very real need for peace and a break. Back in November,
and then a few weeks ago, when I was trying to be productive and plot out
future blog posts, I read these verses:
Even
when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. (Lamentations 3:8)
You
have covered yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can get through. (Lamentations 3:44)
Yes! This is exactly how I feel: unheard. And this is so
tragic because if I can’t speak to God, if we can’t communicate, then there can
be no relationship. Prayer and confession bring us into fellowship with God,[1]
but if God won’t hear us?
So I began looking into these verses a bit more, and, come
to find out, I’m not the only one who has ever felt this way:
My
God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. (Psalm
22:2)
I
cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at
me. (Job 30:20)
This is what I wrote in my journal back in November: “Will
you please remove the cloud and hear me? Will you answer and just let me know
that this is OK and good and that you have made me to handle this and that you
love me?”
I know that the troubles I face are really quite minor
compared to starvation, war, plague, etc. But they got me down all the same. Sometimes,
God has us sit in our suffering for a while. For me, it was to remember that
God is truly God, and without Him, I am nothing, and can do nothing. God
doesn’t fulfill our prayers instantly because how would we grow in our faith
then?
The rest of Psalm 22 is filled with the poet’s (David’s)
lament over his situation of poverty and defeat. But at the end, he ends with
this:
All
the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families
of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the LORD and
he rules over the nations. (Psalm 22:27-28)
One day, everyone will bow before the King of Kings and LORD
of Lords. Even when we feel down, God rules. When we feel attacked, God reigns
supreme. This Psalm is immediately followed by what is probably the most
well-known of David’s poems: Psalm 23. The same man who once said that God did
not answer him, now says:
He
restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s
sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear
no evil for you are with me… (Psalm 23:3-4).
God didn’t abandon David. He didn’t leave him dwelling in
sin and self-destruction. His presence went with him into the darkest
situations, and David emerged on the other side victorious because of God.
Lamentations was written about Jerusalem, which was supposed
to be the beacon of light to the world. But their sin grew and grew until
finally God exiled the people. God used historical circumstances to shape His
people and draw them back into righteousness. They felt like God had blocked
out their prayers, but truly, He was refining them.[2]
Today, we are covered with the blood of Christ. God hears our prayers because
Christ, our mediator, hears them, and Christ is God. Even when it feels like
God isn’t listening, He is. But that doesn’t mean we don’t suffer, or that God
doesn’t use our circumstances to mold us to look more like Him.
Sometimes I feel like I’m one of those children that God has
to yell at to get my attention. In elementary school I had a teacher who
wouldn’t yell, but would just flick the lights on and off to get our attention.
Maybe that’s what God is doing to me. Maybe I became so fixated on worldly things
that He turned off the light and plunged me into darkness to get my attention.
Maybe He isn’t going to just flick the light back on either. Maybe it’s a
dimmer switch and He is going to let the room slowly get brighter and brighter
until I am restored to keep me waiting on Him.
For
we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was
without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that
we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews
4:15-16)
[1]
J Andrew Dearman, Jeremiah/Lamentations,
The NIV Application Commentary, (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2002), pg 462.
[2]
J Andrew Dearman, Jeremiah/Lamentations,
The NIV Application Commentary, (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2002), pg 460.
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