I’ve been thinking about Joseph lately. Not Joseph, the
father of Jesus, but Joseph with the multi-colored tunic. Actually, I am also
thinking of Joseph’s brothers too. The reason I am contemplating this
interesting family is because I am thinking through forgiveness. Life gets
messy, and those who are supposed to be closest to you can turn on you.
Parents, siblings, in-laws and even friends will use and abuse you. The will
say things that cut you to your core and will humiliate you in front of others.
They will do these things feeling they are acting righteously and have no need
to apologize or seek forgiveness for their words and actions. Yet we are
commanded to love each other and honor each other in the midst of all this.
Don’t get me wrong, Joseph had his problems. When I read
through Genesis 37, I get the picture of a spoiled tattle tale that lives a
somewhat cushy life in comparison to his brothers. No, Joseph was not perfect.
His brothers sold him into slavery and he ended up in Egypt. Decades later he
met his brothers face to face once again. After playing a mean little trick on
them he revealed himself to them and sais that he had forgiven them and the
evil that they did to him for he now understood that God used the brothers and
himself to provide for His chosen family group.
When parents, siblings, in laws, friends should stand by you
and don’t, what do we do? A lot of times it festers. The disrespect, the
humiliation, the injustice and the meanness of the actions of those who claim
to love make us angry and bitter. And that anger and bitterness sits alone for
a while and ferments into something dangerous unless we learn the art of
forgiveness. Forgiveness is giving those people over to God and asking Him to
deal with His children because we cannot change them. Forgiveness releases us
from the past and makes us able to walk into the future. Forgiveness gives us
the ability to be free from the damning opinions and judgments of others so we
can live the life and do the things God is calling us to do. Forgiveness usually
takes time.
Joseph was sold when he was 17 years old. When he was 30 he
interpreted the Pharaoh’s dream about the seven years of plenty and the seven
years of famine. When he met his brothers again the famine had been going for
two years, so he was close to 40 years old. Needless to say, he had had a bit of
time to figure out what to do with them if they ever met again. His little
stunt of holding Simeon hostage until Benjamin was brought, and then putting
the cup in Benjamin's sack shouldn’t surprise us. What should surprise us is
that he told them not to be grieved or angry because of their past actions
(Genesis 45). He was not holding them against them because he had seen God’s
greater plan in having him in Egypt. When did this all become clear to Joseph?
I have to say it probably wasn’t until he met his brothers as they tried to buy
grain to live that the truth of his situation dawned on him.
The reality of forgiveness though, is that those who hurt us
may never be confronted with their actions until Judgment Day. They may not
apologize or ever feel that they have done anything wrong and Christ says we
have to be ok with that. Dwelling on the actions of others will only drive us
into deeper despair. Focusing on the love that God has for each person will
help us to learn to forgive them and to refocus on His will for our lives and
the lives of others. We may have to forgive them on a daily basis for years so
that we can learn to be free. In Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus answers Peter’s
question about forgiveness with a parable. The moral of the story? Forgive
others as much as is needed. Failing to do so will only torment and harm
ourselves rather than those who have hurt us.
Forgiveness is not for the weak. It is for the strong.
Forgiveness is hard, and therefore only the spiritually strong can handle it,
especially when there may never be acknowledgement of wrong from the offending
party. Humbling ourselves and depending on the strength of Christ to forgive
others is how we grow and become more Christ-like. For Christ himself forgave
his tormenters before he died, and he calls us to do likewise.
Forgiveness is indeed the greatest gift God gives us: (1)His forgiveness for our sins, and (2)our ability and desire to forgive others. Its a gift we don't earn and can only have the strength for by HIs grace and provision. We need Him to give it to us for our own sake. I always wonder why the servant of Matt 18 couldn't accept that gracious gift from His Master nor could he give it to his fellow servant. I guess he still wanted to pay his debt on his own terms and so needed others to pay their debt on "his" own terms. Just wanting to be in charge of the rules of life. Hmmm...I am still like that servant in certain areas of my life. I thank God that He is showing me this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! Forgiveness certainly isn't something that comes naturally, or easy. Thank God for His grace!
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